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immortaltrash:

when you remember something embarrassing you did 6 years ago

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me:  shit my mom is almost home and i forgot to do chores
me:  better sweep fast
me:  broom broom

drunktrophywife:

*moaning* what’s ur credit card number

claphne:

remember when the teacher dragged a tv on wheels like this kind of thing

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and you knew it was gonna be an awesome day


mum:  can you-
me:  *groans for 17 hours*